I have spent the last 3 years of my life being sicker than a dog. We came to the conclusion in a semi-diagnosis about 9 months ago with Celiac Disease. This was after many many Emergency Room visits (43), more scopes than you can imagine, blood work to the point I didn't have any veins left and scan after scan.

My symptoms were extreme. They would hit without any warning but usually in the morning after going to the bathroom. Sometimes all of a sudden I would have nausea, vomiting, severe sweating, chills and severe stomach pain. (I was literally a wet rag doll.) I would lie in the shower (until all the hot water was gone.. to the chagrin of my boyfriend who wanted to take a hot shower)with the hot water just running down all over me trying to relax and feel better. My "episodes" would last 5-12 hours straight depending on whether I would pass out from sheer exhaustion or finally decide it was time to go to the Emergency Room.

On two occasions the attacks were so bad I had to call an ambulance. My treatment was always the same. Bags of fluid due to dehydration and electrolytes out of whack, blood work, nausea medication and pain medication, plus some new test. My visits would last anywhere from 4-6 hours with the occasional over-night stay. The Diagnosis was always the same, Gastritis or Abdominal Pain of Unknown Cause. I always left the hospital feeling great. I was rehydrated and higher than a kite. After each "episode" it would take a whole day of sleeping to just recover from the physical and emotional stress my body experienced.

On top of the "episodes" I was also experiencing weight loss, loss of energy, sleeping 12-15 hours a day or sleeping all weekend. Fear of food, no appetite, anxiety and stress about leaving my house (it really was a nightmare to I have an "episode" while out and about.) And let us not also forget the depression, helpless and hopelessness I felt.

My physical symptoms would appear sporadic and there was no pattern. I was tested for lots of digestive and female disorders. Crohn's, Colitis, Cancers, Bacteria's, Ulcers, Endometriosis, Hormones, Acid reflux. Anything they could think of, and many I have forgotten by this time. As each test came back negative my depression, anxiety and fears increased.

What the Hell was Wrong with Me! I was getting desperate. These "episodes" were affecting every part of my life! My work, My relationships, My confidence, My ability to even function.

To be Continued.

Today sucked. I woke up this A.M., went to the bathroom and was instantly sick. I had all the classic symptoms that I experience when having a Celiac attack. Sweating, chills, nausea, severe stomach pain. I was so bummed getting mad at myself for having an attack. I suffered from 9 A.M. to 5 P.M.. I should have gone to the emergency room a lot sooner but just didn't want to go. I have been so many time in the past and have not had to go in nearly as much as before my diagnosis. Finally after my 6th shower my boyfriend Jacob gave me no choice.

They treated me great and within an hour of arriving at the ER. I had my IV, blood draws and my first injections of nausea and pain medication. It helped a bit and an hour later got my 2nd injection of nausea and pain mediation. That 2nd treatment really helped and I started to feel much much better.

When we got home Jake and I just could not figure out where the Gluten came from. We finally realized that while visiting a friend yesterday I ate gluten. My friend Jessika (you'll hear more about her later.) was being nice and made up a cheese, ham and cracker plate. I DID not eat 1 cracker, but I did have some ham. So when we got home we called Jessika and one of the Evil ingredients was in the ham. Modified Corn Starch. The meat was pre-packaged sandwich meat.

I was very happy that I figured out what happened and will avoid all luncheon meat unless it comes from the butcher.

Going to the ER is no fun, and I am still learning what I can eat or what foods I need to check on.

What was really the bummer, is that today is Tiggerooo's 1st birthday. So I didn't even get a chance to go get him treats or toys. My baby kitty is growing up.

ENER-G Wheat Free Crackers are the best.

Since I have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease it has been a struggle to give up bread and crackers. I have tried many brands of gluten-free crackers that tasted like shellacked disks. So when Jacob came home with ENER-G crackers I was a bit skeptical. The box says Gluten, Wheat, Milk, Lactose and Egg free. What the heck were these going to taste like? When I opened the box I was pleasantly surprised that they looked like actual high quality good crackers and most important they taste great. I love them. I eat them with everything I use to eat bread with. They are a daily staple in my gluten-free diet. It is one of the few items I can honestly say I don't feel like I am missing out on. So if you are gluten intolerant, or actually intolerant to any of the above mentioned ingredients. I highly recommend you try this product.

I have been sick and depressed which is why I have ignored my blog.

I am struggling with Celiac disease. I hate it. I feel trapped. I know intellectually what to do and what kind of attitude I should have. But right now I am just not there. I am depressed, fatigued and I feel pretty hopeless. In fact so much so that I went on a Gluten binge last week. I ate Big Macs, Pie, Dorritos and Cake. I felt so naughty getting away with my Gluten food and no one knew. It was like a high I was on. The food tasted great. I was out of control. I knew I would pay for it but I didn't care. I felt like I just couldn't stop. It also made me feel normal again. I hate to use the word normal but I think you know what I mean.

I know some of the depression is from recovering from surgery the past 4 months. And what a nightmare my surgery and then complications were. My surgery wasn't the kind where you get up and get moving. It was the lie in bed for months and hopefully heal.

I don't personally know anyone who is going through this that I could talk to. You need that. Also I just ordered a lot of Gluten free food and was so disappointed with some of it. The bread like products just taste weird to me. They just don't taste the same. All the bread products are dense, thick and heavy. They are not light and fluffy. And since I don't have the right attitude I am not probably keeping my options and opinions open.

I think I am making this more difficult than it needs to be. But how do you force yourself to feel and think positive when you just can't right now. I did find a local support group and I hope that gives me the push I need. Anyway I am struggling right now and hope the struggle ends soon.

Hey. I am still here. I haven't been writing because I have been recovering from my 3rd surgery. I have just been feeling lousy. But thanks for all the comments. It's nice to know there are others out there who can relate to what I am going through. I do have a funny story to share with you. Well I think it's funny. Just a warning. It is sexual in nature.

I had to go to the Emergency Room last Wednesday. I was having pain, nausea, sweating profusely and dehydrated. When I get like this my pain doctor told me that sex or masterbation can help. Due to the endorphin rush. Which is the best natural pain medication there is. In the past I have done this and it has helped. Not everytime, but sometimes. Because I am so sick, sex is out of the question so I usually try to masterbate. It just wasn't working this time. So after 5 hours of misery I dragged myself to the ER.

I was lucky and got in right away. I have been to the ER enough times and have seen enough doctors, that I never lie to them about anything. It doesn't help you and they do not judge you. They just need to know what is going on. I had a male nurse and a male doctor treating me and both were about my age. When it came to the standard question "Any burning when you urinate". I said yes, but I do not have an infection. The doctor asked me how I could be sure. So I explained to him that I used my vibrator for the last 4 hours and I have irritated myself. The RN then said. And you aren't wiped out. And I said no, because it didn't work! I never had an orgasm. He then asked why I did it and I explained that it helps with pain etc. I could tell he was a little embarrassed. Then the doctor said I think masterbation is helpful for everything and thanked me for being so honest.

After that I got excellent treatment. They were both very attentive. Not because I was so desireable but because I think I gave them a little humor in their long days of treating sick people. My RN even told me he would never forget me.

So that is my funny little story about my last ER visit. Hope you can find the humor as well. It is important in life to see the humor of things. It makes this journey of life just a little easier,